Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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