Three words: puerto rican gang bang
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
