every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
