i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
