Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
