he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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