I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
