Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
