Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
