i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
