let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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