I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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