just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
There are leaves in my underwear?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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