It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
