It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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