You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
