It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
