she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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