i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
