just tell him i said nine months
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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