dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
