real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
