That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
