um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
