My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
smell my finger.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
