I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
