There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
