what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
you never un-have a 4some
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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