I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
