I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
