i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
