Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
