So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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