At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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