i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
