I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Randomize
