it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
