i jhust puked up my retainher.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
