ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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