I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
