Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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