where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
