so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
