she was so not down for the gang bang
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
