How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I need moral support for this bender
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
