Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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