Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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