I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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