just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
