I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
