And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
